Boy With Dreams

So it's been quite some time now. I figure I'm WAY overdue for an update.

This summer's been fun so far. Caleb has been spending the summer here, and we're working turning him into a dancer every day. It's a blast. It's also made me become a stronger dancer and definitely worked me because I have to think about what I'm doing and how to explain it.

Caleb and I have gone to see some shows too. So far, we saw Sister Act (front row), Catch Me If You Can, and Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark. Honestly, I was and still am floored by all of them for various reasons. Everyone in each show was fantastic. They made me remember why I love theatre so much. It truly is magical.

Caleb's staying here until we go back to school. We're going to Making It on Broadway in August, and I'm stoked. We have another friend from Murray coming to the intensive with us. We're super excited.

I'm also excited that I finished my first draft of New Dawn. It's a musical I've been working on since my freshman year at Murray State. What's more? I talked to the executive director at Playhouse In The Park (the local community theatre), and I'm getting to do a full stage version of it this fall. I'm really excited... nervous, but excited.

However, on a closer term... I leave Saturday to go to Germany for the International Performing Arts Institute. I'll be there for a month... I'm excited. But I get more and more nervous as it gets closer. I've had a bunch of music to learn for it... one of the solos they assigned me is 17 pages long (damn you JRB and your beautiful music). I love it though. As it gets closer, I get more and more anxious, but more and more excited. I'm having a blast just prepping for it. If the actual program is at least a fraction of the fun I've had this summer working up to it, I'll be ecstatic.

While I've had a lot of fun preparing though, I've also struggled. I get frustrated because, vocally, I'm not where I'd like to be. I get frustrated easily because of it too. However, I've found that (this is kinda lame) reading the notes I toke and quotes of people from Making It On Broadway, as well as just random quotes that are just delivered into my lap by God have helped me realize that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. If I was supposed to be singing like Aaron Tveit or Michael Arden, I would be. But I'm not. That's not God's plan for me. And as scary or frustrating as it is, I am more than happy with who I am and what I have been given.

So... Before I quit rambling, I have to share this story that happened to me. A few days ago I was INCREDIBLY down on myself about my voice. I went to bed crying and begging to know why I don't have the voices that so many people around me have. I woke up the next morning with a tweet saying that StudentRushNYC is following me on twitter. I go to their page and the first tweet that comes up by them says:

" 'I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else.

I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you

could be.' -Ken Venturi"

I smiled and cried. I then went to fill out my housing application for school next year, and I needed my student number. As I go to pull out my student id, an old fortune cookie fortune feel out of my wallet. I looked at it. It read:

" Your talents will be recognized and rewarded."

It's times like that I know God is watching and there to help at any moment.

All Good Gifts

This semester's almost over. One week plus finals... Then I only have one semester left.

A lot has been happening.

Starting off, I choreographed Disney's Beauty and the Beast for Campus Lights. It was madness. I had to create 2 large company numbers and teach them. I had a BLAST doing it though. And I couldn't have asked for a better cast. There were literally people of all dance levels and they all gave 110% to make the show wonderful!

I was also cast in Molly Sweeney. To tell you the truth, I didn't want to do the show because it's a show that consists of 3 people never talking to each other... only in monologues that go on for a couple of pages at a time. That thought terrified me. And on top of that, I'd be required to learn an Irish dialect (I'm horrible with dialects). So when I saw that I was cast as Frank Sweeney, I almost had a heart attack. I mean, yes, I was ecstatic that I was cast, but I almost died because the only thing I could think about was, "How in hell am I going to get through any of this?" Fortunately, everyone who worked on the show was absolutely wonderful. Cindy and Jody who played Molly and Mr. Rice were absolutely wonderful. And Lissa, Chase, Joy Beth, Roma, and the rest of the production staff was a dream! Somehow, because they all believed in me, I was able to get through the show... all 2hrs and 10mins of it... (45-50 of those minutes were taken up of me talking in an Irish accent to the audience about random facts and useless pieces of information). I didn't want the show to end though. I had SO much fun doing it, and I learned so much about myself as a performer.

That was the bulk of my semester. And unfortunately, I don't have the fun of performing that show to keep me going through each week until the semester is over. The rest is currently all about trying to keep up in classes.

My summer is looking promising and fun, however. In July, I am getting to go to Germany for the International Performing Arts Institute for Musical Theatre. I'm incredibly excited for that. And I'm also getting to go back to Making It On Broadway in August. I cannot describe how grateful I am that I've gotten these opportunities. While I am terrified and continue to be terrified about graduating, these programs such as Making It On Broadway and hopefully IPAI make me feel much more secure about my future. While Murray is a great school, there's not much training here for musical theatre. Most of what I learn about musical theatre, I have to find out myself. However, getting to attend these intensives, I feel like I'm getting the knowledge I need to be successful in this field. I'm hoping at least.

This semester, I also picked New Dawn up again. New Dawn was a musical I started working on my freshman year here at Murray as a Theatre Class project. I continued working on it for a while, but quit because I got discouraged. Somehow, I picked it up this semester and am almost completed with the score. I have to finish the opening numbers for each act as well as one other number within the show. I'm hoping to finish the numbers and the book this summer, and if all goes well, potentially trying to have a blackbox production of it next semester. Or at very least, a reading. I'll keep posted on it, but I'm super excited.

But as a whole, I think this semester, I've learned a lot about trusting myself, but more importantly, I've learned a lot more about trusting God and knowing that God has a plan for me. I'd been focusing on making everything work how I want it to work, but I'm starting to see that opportunities that I think I want may not be what is best for me.

"I've let go the need to know why. I'll take what answers you supply. You know better than I." - John Bucchino